Hey there Jadie, I know that things are not getting easy lately.  Last year is really heart breaking but I'm glad that you are finding your way to let go and move on to your life now. That was tough I know. It's been almost 8 years and it's been so hard for you to give up. You have so much love for him but yeah that's life, we cannot force someone to feel the same way for us. I would like you to know how proud I am because what you had for him is something real but you have to accept that it's now over. Yes it is, finally!

You started 2013 with good vibes, exploring new things and meeting different personalities. You said you are going to be wiser, better and stronger but c'mon! what the hell was going on with you right now? That  one crazy moment, you think it's a wise act? Damn! It's not so you! Yeah, it's oozing with pleasure but that's just it. You are more than that girl! And by the way, it's not love either... so stop thinking that on your twisted psychotic delusional head. (sorry for my words, I know it's harsh but that's the way it should be so that you will realize how crazy you've become!!!) You deserve the best and it's not him. Those are just extraordinary memories that will teach you life's lesson and will help you to be a better person. 

"Thank God you blew it, thank God I dodge the bullet, I'm so over you so baby go lookin' out. I wanted you bad. I'm so through with it. 'Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had and I'm going always be the best thing you never had, Oh it sucks to be you right now."  -Best Thing I Never Had, Beyonce

Stop dwelling on your past my dear. Life is great so get out there and live life fully. As you start a new journey, let me share something interesting I found on the web, it's called the 17 Ways to Love Yourself by Evelyn Lim. According to that article you need to be aware that you need to love yourself first prior to developing any meaningful relationship with others. I know that you spend your days waiting for your knight in shinning armor. But you have to learn how to love yourself first because when you don't love yourself, you are basically telling the world that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love.

"Love yourself first and everything falls into line" -Lucille Ball

 
You have all the good reasons to love yourself, you just have to dig deeper. Sure you'll be fine, so here's the things you should do my dear Jadie, I borrowed the 17 ways to love yourself article and put some  personal thoughts and tips to help you out.

1.  Fall in love with yourself.

I know that you have a lot of insecurities when it comes to your physical appearance but I'm telling you it's not healthy at all. You should learn to appreciate the things that you have. Remember that you are one of God's greatest creation. Though you are not perfect you are definitely beautiful no matter what others say about you. Always put a smile on your face and show them what you've got! Shine bright like a diamond girl! :)

2. Eliminate self-criticism.

Stop telling yourself that you are stupid and you are not good enough. It's normal to make mistakes, the important thing is that you learn from it.  Stop judging yourself, boost your self-confidence instead. "ICAN" is 100 times better than IQ. -unknown 

3. Be kind and positive

As you wake up every morning, make it a habit to compliment yourself. Look in the mirror with positive thoughts. This will surely have a great effect on your mood for the whole day. Eventually, your love for yourself will grow naturally and you will have a positive outlook in life that you can share such kindness with others.

4. Acknowledge your effort.

They say that, "Great things start from small beginnings" so always keep in mind that even how little things you've done, you have to acknowledge your actions because it's the efforts that counts and I know that you put your best in everything you do. It's alright to fail sometimes at least you know that you've done your part and you have to be proud of it.

5. Let go of worry.

You are a type of girl who usually think of things in advance that's why you have a lot of worries. Do not entertain negative thoughts so that you will no longer have worries. I know that you are just being cautious but you have to let it go. Stop having doubts, you will never have a peace of mind if you continue thinking and worrying too much. Learn how to handle tough situations. If it's beyond your control, just lift everything to God. Keep your faith in Him and everything will fall into place. Just trust Him.


6. Trust yourself.

You are a wonderful, you have the beauty, the knowledge, the talent and the skills to create great changes in your life. Trust your abilities. Put your heart in everything you do and success will come along your way. Keep in mind that you are an empowered woman. Nothing is impossible.

7. Forgive yourself.

We all commit mistakes, there is no need to blame yourself all the time. Though you have made mistakes in the past that cause you feel unworthy and stupid, you have to forgive yourself and move on.

8. Be truthful to yourself.

Be honest with what you really feel. Whenever you are happy, acknowledge the joy. Whenever you are sad and badly hurt, honor your pain. Deal with your feelings. Don't hide it. Do not try to lie to yourself and act as if everything is alright even if it's not okay. Don't be afraid to cry and burst out your sorrow. Don't be ashamed to laugh out loud.

9. Grow spiritually.

Put God in the center of your life. He will lead you to the right path. Growing spiritually will help you learn how to appreciate and love yourself automatically. You will live peacefully and you will nurture a mind that grows beautiful day by day.

10. Make positive affirmations everyday.

Say this to yourself, "I'm not perfect but I'm still beautiful, no one can bring me down not even you. I'm telling all the world I could make any change that I wanted." Believe in yourself.

11. Express gratitude.

Cultivate an appreciation for the gifts and blessings that you have. Be thankful in everything that you have now and that you are capable of making changes in everyday of your life. You've been through a lot Jadie, 12 years is not a joke. Look at you now, you're still alive and kicking and it's one of the million reasons to celebrate life and love yourself so much. You are a survivor. In all things, always remember to give thanks.

12. Nurture your dreams.

Dream big Jadie, believe that it will all come true in God's time.  You might not be where you want to be, but neither where you used to be, if it hasn't happened yet that doesn't mean it won't happen. A delay is not a denial from the one who made it all... someday, on the right moment, things will be perfectly beautiful in your life. :)

13. Boost your self-confidence.

Stop being shy. Go ahead and show them what you've got. Nurture your gifts. Be proud of your skills. You are a good cook, a good writer, a good artist. Indulge some time to develop your talents. This will also help you to enhance your self-esteem and self-worth.

14. Relax.

Give yourself some time to chill. Pamper yourself every now and then. Listen to good music, go to places where you can find your solace and inner peace.

15. Have fun.

Don't take life and yourself too seriously. Inject some fun in your life. Do whatever makes you happy. Go to places where you want to go. Spend your time with positive and happy people. Enjoy!

16. Look after your body.

Strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and exercise. Don't take your health for granted. And Jadie, here's the thing: YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE, YOU SHOULD TREAT IT WITH RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE!


17. Learn to see beauty.

When you see beauty in everything, you will also see the beauty in yourself. So take time to look around and see how beautiful life is. 

I hope that these things will help you out. It may never be easy for you because I know how much you pin your hopes and happiness with someone else but I'm telling you, YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!

Learn to build a solid relationship with yourself through SELF-LOVE. For it is when you open your heart to loving yourself no matter what, that you will discover what it means to love another fully. And chances are…
radiating love from the inside, you will attract true love on the outside. :)

Keep you faith Jadie! :) Don't rush on things. Remember you favorite quote:

"Love comes in the most mysterious ways; if you haven't found your match, do not worry 'cause your destined partner is probably out there searching for you too." -unknown

-xoxo,

Yourself  ^____^